thingamabob

Filing For Seperation

Feeling the dam of,
Fixed plans distorting,
The 18 year old branch,
Is cracking, I suppose,
Wash out that state of,
Being left there ‘hanging’,
This, is like; anatomy,
Slicing through the,
Cake of my body,
Exactly into two.
Plenty of fishes in the,
Sea you say? Try to,
Scream and dance with that,
Have you ever found two other,
Fishes called mommy and daddy?
Your photo, is still here, young,
And fresh, gnawing on my tendons,
I shall not let this slip,
Like a beautiful butterfly.
If we have crashed, before this,
These stanzas would’ve been read,
Off the slices of my brain,
When will you let love, pass,
Through these weak doors,
Oh, oh, oh,
It never prevails.

I remember running down those stairs, knowing that there’s always someone there to hug that excited kid.
I remember what it felt like to burst out in tears and sob, knowing that there’s always someone to tell me that these kids are just jealous.
I remember…
Playing with the dolls thinking I’m as pretty as them.
Believing in myself?

When did the clouds come to obscure the sun? I took no notice.
When did Pandora close her box and captivate shiny hope? I did not know.
When did the spinning ballerina stop? Did she really?

I thought I captured everything in a jar, but the glass shattered.
I thought I was able to soothe people.
I thought this was foreign to me.
I thought…
I could flabbergast everyone who waved off my foolish thoughts.
It was all within our hands but we choose the easy way.
That true love existed.

Now I’m soggy with broken words owning sharp ends.
Now I know I need to be diagnosed.
Now I know that I’m run over because knowing that you are annoying is annoying.
Now I know…
I am not worth a penny.
I am just viewed as another attention seeker.
Some lives are just so brittle.

Push me to the dungeon and trap me,

Get me out, when you lack amusement,

I will stay there in the dark, 

I can’t really get out, I can’t,

I will call out your name,

But my voice is not audible, I can’t 

Even breathe,

I stride around the dreading place,

And get scratched against the wall,

Peel off my spirit, it has no moisture,

Keep it somewhere,

Beneath your chair,

My atria will weep, my ventricles will tear off, they can’t,

Withstand the pressure.